8 years ago,
I quit cold turkey on all prescription drugs because I couldn’t identify with myself anymore. They clinically diagnosed me with panic attack disorder, depression, and anxiety. I also had so many gut issues and heart palpitations. You name it; I was struggling. With my choosing to quit all of those drugs (7 to be exact), I had to relearn myself. What were my trigging points? Why was I so sad all the time? Why was I suicidal? Me having to get to know myself on that level was absolutely terrifying because I did not know where to start. I was never taught how to handle my feelings, more so told how to deal with my emotions, which I feel are two very different feelings. When you deal, you are just suppressing. I feel when handling your emotions; you are being able to take the time to break apart and analyze The who, what, where, or why. I was still experiencing these feelings without medications, and sometimes days would be harder than the rest, but I started learning breathe techniques, I got back to journaling, I still hadn’t known what meditation was, but I knew what praying was and that I had got very comfortable with that. I was very specific with my prayers, asking for me to know who I am and how I can get through this… I aligned myself and said I am ready, use me the way you need me. I did all the hard work while researching and finding vitamins and minerals that would help elevate my mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
I came across an article about CBD. I did not know what it was, but I was intrigued and so I read more. The part that stood out to me was “alternative healing” and I felt this was the message I was looking for. Something to balance me while still having control over my mind. I will never forget my boyfriend, (now husband) and I had traveled to Colorado, where we had gotten to stay with his friend, and I was sharing with him I was having a hard time breathing and having heart palpitations because of the elevation was so high. He shared with me he had some CBD and said it would help. My ears perked up and I remember saying to myself.. this is the sign, I remember chuckling a little and started asking him so many questions about what he thought of it and him sharing his story, I knew this was the right choice for me. I took a small amount of CBD and within two minutes, my anxiety was nonexistent and my heart palpitations stopped! I was so impressed and I knew this was what my body needed. We came back home and researching, I began finding CBD. There was a shop that had it. I asked the necessary questions that I wanted to ask and purchased both a smoke able and an oil. I came home, sat with it in front of me, and exposed to myself the healthy relationship I was going to have with cannabis. I say cannabis because I know many people identify with cannabis as only the psychoactive part of the plant that most of you all get recreationally. Cannabis comprises over 120 components, which are known as cannabinoids. So while CBD is still considered the psychoactive part as well, it’s non-intoxicating and non-euphoric, meaning it won’t get you “high.” Cannabis is a plant with a long history of spiritual use. It has been used for centuries by shamans and tribes for healing, spiritual growth, and maintaining balance.
I noticed an increase in myself and my surroundings. I noticed the parts that I still needed to nurture were more prevalent, which is okay because I was on that journey with myself of self-love and self-discovery. I was also introduced to meditating at this time, so I would experiment with CBD and meditation. I noticed a change in the intensity, if you will. I feel like CBD helped me get in tune with myself at a comfortable pace. I noticed a lot of my negative thoughts and emotions were becoming less and less because I was truly working on myself internally and externally. I have respect and understanding for this plant and I was so grateful to have been introduced to it. Fast forward to a couple of years later, doing more research found another component of the cannabis plant that I was so eager to try. I want to say this because I know I haven’t touched on it. I am not against recreational use, because I know some people enjoy it. However, my experience with it was too much for me. I am not a huge fan of the psychoactive part of the plant, because it just doesn’t healthily communicate with me. I got introduced to Delta 8 a couple of years ago and at the time there wasn’t a lot of information about it, but what I had found was stronger than CBD, with more of a psychoactive component, but not as intense as recreational. It would communicate with different receptors in our body. So I again was intrigued and wanted to try it out. I sat with it and gave thanks for me to try it and that I would have a healthy relationship with it if it was something I would choose to still use. Well, I can say that it was a wonderful experience. The time when my projection kicked in was when I could go into deeper meditations, I noticed. I had discovered an even deeper part of me I loved. I discovered more love and patience for my family and my friends…and every stranger I came across. There were more hugs and smiles. I noticed more laughter and compassion. I was becoming so in tune with myself that I can say I haven’t had a panic attack, anxiety attack, gut problems, or heart palpitations, I can go on in over 5 years now!!
The reason I am sharing all of this with you is that I want to express transparency with you, that I do support whatever you do. I want you to know this is my story and how I know it has helped me. I am not sharing this with you to tell you to stop taking your medications until you have discussed thoroughly with your doctor about alternative medicine or finding a doctor to assist you. This worked for me, and I want you to still honor your body and your journey.
I am also sharing this with you because I will have some of these alternative healing options to purchase here soon.
My husband and I already have a shop where we sell cannabis products right here in La Vista called “Best Buds.” Here we have many variants of the plant. I just wanted to share this with you all again to express transparency and letting how it has helped me get ME back.
I appreciate you for allowing me to take the time to allow me to have an intimate moment with you.